Exciting days of mirth and merriment Devon-style today as the second Wednesday in October
marks the annual Tavistock Goosey Fair.
The schools close for the day and the Golden Gallopers and the Dodgems will be in the Town Square.For one day the town centre becomes a traffic- free zone and is transformed into a bustling marketplace of stalls and people travel in from far and wide to buy things they probably don't really want.
To get from A to B you have to drive via Z and allow all day and we love it all.The amazing thing is that the next morning you wouldn't know anything out of the ordinary had happened, normal service is resumed.
The Tinker, with his town centre residence, becomes base camp from which all family assaults on the fair are traditionally made.Gradually the place fills up with inflatable axes (did you really need one of those?) goldfish in bags ( Take it back,aren't they illegal?) and gooseburgers (You'll be sick, is it cooked?).
News of this year's best chuck-up ride will come from the Ka-yakker, every rifle range will be tested by the Gamekeeper and the Bookhound (more stuffed animals, do we need another giraffe?) and Offspringette will wish she was here.Perhaps we might even get to see the odd live waddling goose or two which was the whole point of the day, selling the geese to be fattened up for the Christmas table.
And here's what we shall all be singing, just choose a bit of da-de-da-de-da-de-daaa type tune and you'll be about right.As for the words, well us 'as our own ways of sayin' down yer and yer's your chance to do the same, and don't you be forget'in ter 'down yer prong' and watch out for the 'gurt big stoan'.They'm painful.
Tavvystock Goozey Vair
Tes jis a month cum Vriday nex' Bill Champernown an' me,
Us druv' acrost ole Dartymoor, th' Goozey Vair to zee.
Us made our sles quite vitty, us shaved an' graised our 'air,
An' off us goes in our Zunday cloes be'ind Bill's ole gray mare.
Us smelled th' sage an' onions arl th' way fr'm Whitchurch Down,
An' did'n us av a blaw out when us put up in the' town!
An' theer us met Ned 'Annafurd, Jan Steer an' Nicky Square,
Ut sim to we arl Deb'n mus' be to Tavvystock Goozey Vair.
An' uts "Aw thun, whur be'e gwaine, an' wot be'e doin'of there?
'Aive down yer prong an' stap down long, tes Tavvystock Goozey Vair."
Us went an' zeed th' 'osses an' th' yaffers an' th' yaws,
Us went 'pun arl th' roundabouts an' inter arl th' shaws;
An' then ut started rainin' an' blawin' too, Ess Fai,
So off us goes back to th' Rose an' 'aves a dish o' tay.
An' then us ad a zing zong an' the folks kep drappin' in,
An' them wot knawed us arl cum roun' an' 'ad a drap o' gin;
Till wot with one an' t'other us didn' sim to care
Whether us wor to Bellevur Tor, er Tavvystock Goozey Vair.
An' uts ...
'Twas rainin' straims an' dark as pitch when us started 'ome that night,
An' when us got pas' Merrival Bridge th' mare 'er tuk a vright;
Sez I to Bill, "Be careful er you'll 'av us in th' drains."
Sez Bill ter me, "Begad", sez 'e, "Why, abm yew got th' reins?"
Jus' then th' mare run slap agin a whackin' gurt big stoan,
'Er kicked th' trap to flibbits an' 'er trotted off alone,
When us cum to us reckind twarnt no gude settin' there,
So us 'ad to trudge 'ome thurteen mile from Tavvystock Goozey Vair.
An' uts ...