Right listen up everyone, Rocky here and if there are four calling birds out there I have my eye on them for dinner.
She's asleep on the mat in front of the Aga the sofa so I've taken the liberty of getting on here with my very own prize draw.
I mean it's all very well all these high falutin' posh books but really I know there's only one book you'd all really like to win and it's my favourite and the pictures aren't bad either.
Old Possum of course wasn't really paying attention and seems to have missed a trick with me but it's good to see me old mucker Mr Mistoffelees, or Mr Lotsoffleas as we used to call him when his tail was turned.
Then there's Old Macavity.
Do me a favour, the bafflement of Scotland Yard?
I don't think so, of course he wasn't there, never set foot outside the house, it was all a very clever attention-seeking ruse that the rest of just wouldn't stoop to.
I'm a bit sick of him actually, all this 'there's no one like Macavity' rubbish gets right up my snout.
Mongojerrie and Rumpelteazer did their best poor things, house-wreckers the pair of them but I see no point in going to that much bother to annoy the minders, I find one lick of the butter dish drives them wild enough here, minimal effort involved in that and I can get back to my mat (huh...£1 in Tesco's...that's what they think of me)
I of course can't possibly tell you my own 'deep and inscrutable name' we cats keep that to ourselves but I can tell you I was called Rocky after my predecessor Corky, they just swapped the letters round (is that lacking in imagination or what) and I do have a bit of a flat boxer's nose which they laughed at but I think it looks distinguished. I just have to bear it all with grace and dignity.
Anyway, look me old chums, names in comments and thanks to Faber (and Faber) you could be the lucky winner of one of four prize draw copies of this amazing book and trust me I'm going to take advantage again and I'll be back with an associated prize draw before Twelfth Night that you will not want to miss.
Meanwhile at least Old Possum knew something about me
I know a cat who makes a habit
Of eating nothing else but rabbit
And when he's finished, licks his paws
So's not to waste the onion sauce