' Please could you not say that' I suggested.
Bookhound was summoned for jury service backalong which has proved to be an interesting experience for us devotees of Judge John Deed. Having spent half our lives getting out of jury service because of work commitments Bookhound decided it was time to fulfill his civic duty, and besides it would make a welcome change from mixing tons of concrete (floor was pending), so he set off with a little spring in his step.
Lest you may think he wasn't taking it seriously think again, trust me, it's been like living with...well not Martin Shaw exactly, perhaps more Kavanagh QC.
We have to say 'All rise' before we are allowed to leave the dinner table now, it's getting tiresome.
Of course I can't tell you a thing about the cases and indeed Bookhound couldn't tell me until they were over, but he was chosen for plenty, sensibly keeping the black cloth that I'd made him to put on his head at the appropriate moment in his pocket.
I've seen it done
'I sentence you to hang from the...'
Of course I know from my day job exactly what everyone gets up to so the majority of the cases came as no surprise to me; one of my team years ago was a magistrate so we were fully appraised of what went on between man and beast /sheep / horse / dog etc. But Bookhound did have a little corker in amongst the benefit frauds and inappropriate liaison cases and I'm sorry I couldn't possibly write about it here, but if ever you come for tea he may well tell you, and then just see if you can swallow that scone and cream without choking.
I nearly inhaled my bowl of Krave over the breakfast table when he told me, and can only begin to imagine what it must be like for twelve complete strangers to have to sit in a room together for several hours discussing... well discussing what they had to discuss and then offering a verdict. What goes on in the jury room stays in the jury room and is highly confidential so I am still just imagining, but even so...
I hardly like to do a free advert for Kellogs but it's a breakfast cereal reminiscent of those lovely Oat Krunchies which we can't find anywhere now, but Krave has added value because the little pillows are filled with something akin to Nutella. Absolutely delicious.
And has anyone else done their duty and served time on a jury?? I've always evaded it but the Tinker has fond recollections of his stint and of lengthy deliberations over an old lady's theft of a chicken valued at £1.46 (which tells you how long ago it was)
Anyway I can tell it's going to get even more tiresome here now especially when we are watching Judge John in the future.
'Hmm well of course had I been on that jury...'
'No he can't say that, they need to adjourn and take directions...'
'Well my judge wouldn't have said that...'
'Do you remember that case I had where the man was...'