Offspringette has been home for a few days and in training for a big distance long-boarding event in the US, so out doing some walking. This is not namby pamby walking like mine which seeks out the flat in preference to the hill, and the dry in preference to the wet, slowing to a snail's pace under the pretence of 'looking at flowers' when in fact I'm needing oxygen...no indeed because Offspringette had headed for the summit of Kit Hill yesterday, that peak that we can see from the window. We now know this is a round trip of twelve miles on foot, and up some of the steepest hills around here ... I expect... because I chickened out and agreed to meet her on the homeward trail.
In the meantime Bookhound and I had been out for coffee and cake and arrived home again before the call came in and off I went.
'Why don't you use the green lane,' suggested a helpful Bookhound.
'Won't it be a bit wet,' I replied.
'Well no point in those boots...'
The boots do not look quite like this today but I can now definitely confirm that these Scarpa ZG 65 Goretex lined women's walking boots do exactly what they say on the tin...
This Vibram sole unit used on the ZG Models, is incredibly light, yet unlike others who have tried to lighten soles by lowering the profile, it retains deep cleating that gives outstanding grip. Based on a Megabyte trekking mix, it gives great adhesion with easy self cleaning action during use. The combination of rubber outsole and ultra-Lite PU wedge gives great underfoot shock absorption and firm stability for technical terrain.... the ZG 65, in our opinion, has to be a serious contender for one of the best all-round lightweight walking boots this side of the Ural Mountains!
Like everyone else we too have had torrential rain ever since the words 'drought' and 'hosepipe ban' hit the headlines, and green lanes are notorious for becoming only passable on horseback at the first hint of wet. They are lovely though, little marked tracks, bigger than footpaths and supposedly the places were you can drive off-road, though always best to check first because we have seen many a vehicle get stuck. But the green lane would indeed be a good idea because it would effectively cut three sides off my walking square.
I am not sure whether this picture shows clearly enough that green lanes which slope downhill also resemble river beds, especially in times of drought which have become flood...
and the mud to either side is slippery, viscous and generally unfavourable.
By the time I had realised the folly of Bookhound's suggestion turning round and walking back up hill was not an option, so I soldiered on (you will see how appropriate this verb is in a minute) traversing mud plains...
...until I suddenly came upon some pretty baa lambs ...don't you just love that painting...
But these were naughty ones, escapees from the flock. The flock was going bananas calling them back in to the fold and they were going bananas trying to get back in...
This being the Law of the Sheep, the more I walked towards them the further ahead they ran until I could see them ending up in Cornwall, so I had a very bright idea. I would do that neighbourly and helpful rural thing and I would heave the gate open to the field and coax them back in.
This idea was just about commensurate for common sense with Bookhound's suggestion that I walk down here in the first place, because I should have realised that a gate that is incredibly heavy and difficult to open, and which has then half came off its hinges and sunk into the mud, is going to be equally tricky to shut. That is without giving thought to how I am going to persuade these lambs back into the field.
Think One Man and His Dog...
Now think One Woman and No Dog.
Bit of a stand off, lot of staring, some chirping noises from me, more staring from them ...some slightly irate 'come on don't be a sheep all your life' from me at which they took grave offence and shot off along the green lane, leaving me standing with an open and stuck gate and a lot of sheep smelling freedom.
Brute force and panic and much mud above the ankles did the trick with the gate, and by the time I caught up with the stupid baa lambs I really couldn't have cared less...could have happily walked them all into the freezer as chops. If they are still running up and down that green lane good riddance I say.
But listen, I reached Horsebridge, the River Tamar going down at a fair old lick, the Devon - Cornwall border and my rendezvous with Offspringette,
...only to find there was a war on.
The Sealed Knot doing a re-enactment of an English Civil War battle for a television programme for the BBC.
It all looked deadly serious. No camaraderie between the warring factions and even the babies were taking sides from their 17th century cots...
Offspringette pondered the merits of a re-enactment childhood and thanked me profusely for not having joined, though they all looked to be having a grand if very chilly day out.
We did ask and apparently the Parliamentarians were going to win, and thankfully the barracks weren't too far away..
And if you have ever asked yourself the perennial question about 17th century toilet facilities on the field of battle may your research stop right now, because I have the definitive answer...
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