Me, Nigel, Lembit and the Cheeky Girls and not forgetting Sian.

I'm back and feeling slightly off the planet after all that pampering and lazing by the pool, and the eating.Well I'm pleased to report we did a great deal of that and everything went swimmingly and smoothingly.Facilities and service all splendid.
It can't really be possible to have five showers and wash your hair three times on one day, but somehow I did.
The place we went to is owned by ex-Formula One racing champion Nigel Mansell and I must say he was eager for us to know of his achievements. We were tripping over mini racing cars and helmets and memorabilia at every turn and were tragically disappointed to find that the Nigel Mansell Formula One Museum was closed.
But we were first off that grid and into pole position as we headed for the pool, did that German thing (no offence to any Germans who read this, we all envy your skill) with our fluffy white towels and nabbed our loungers and proceeded to bask.
My reading didn't suffer you'll be pleased to hear as I did a slow comparitive analysis of Heat and Hello magazines.
Heat seems a bit on the nasty side of the gossip line and you can expect to be featured in there if you're caught unawares looking an idiot by a stray photographer.
Hello seems to be about looking like an idiot but posing and being paid to look like one.
I am so up to date on the latest celebrity gossip (rather than 2 years behind reading what is on offer in the surgery) so I do feel I can now converse on all manner of useful subjects.
Jordan and Peter think their house is haunted.
Posh and Becks are really looking forward to moving to LA
As for Sian and Lembit...two pages on the lovely Sian, a page or so of adverts and then hundreds of pages on Lembit and the Cheeky Girl.
I know this is old news but the devil is in the detail and now I am easily up to GCSE standard.
The Hon.Mr Opik MP (age 42) for the Montgomeryshire constituency has parted company with his long term girlfriend, ITV weather person Sian Lloyd (age 48) in favour of one half of the Cheeky Girls (age 24), twins who wear a UK dress size 4 and sing nicely out of tune but make lots of money doing so.
The photo shoot was at a luxury hotel in the constituency.Lembit and Gabriela are very happy together and apparently have many deep and meaningful discussions about British political life.The Mother of Cheeky Girl is proving rather formidable but nothing Lembit can't cope with after his time in the House of Commons.
The worst thing about all of this was that I had a terrible nightmare last night (might have been down to the goat's cheese nestling in cocoon of tapenade and wrapped in a filo pastry parcel resting on a bed of rocket salad drizzled with balsamic vinegar etc...this also packs a double whammy because it means, I now discover, that I ate anchovy paste by stealth and I can't abide fish) a nightmare about meeting Lembit Opik, not sure where, but Sian Lloyd was in the other room and I was desperately worried that they'd bump into each other and I'd be witness to the slaughter of a serving MP. Hell hath no fury like the weather girl scorned.
Not quite sure where the Cheeky Girl was while all this was going on.