You know what it’s like by now. Something comes into my head and we just have to have a conversation about it. Mostly walking trousers today, but also trousers in general, how I hate shopping for them. It’s the standing in front of the mirror and seeing the new bulges,
...or the skin tight legs that won’t go above the knees, and this whole ‘sits comfortably below the hips’ thing...does anything ‘sit comfortably below the hips’ and not sap a mature woman’s confidence.
Or the shops who have the sizing or the shape ALL WRONG....it’s not me obviously.
Nor do I like to think of myself as a ‘label’ snob, but honestly, once you’ve shopped for outdoor clothes in New Zealand, in shops where it takes you hours to walk to the other end and where the brands are of the highest quality and the sales are legendary, well, shopping for the same here in the U.K. is a bit of a let-down.
Meanwhile my legs were freezing. This was because I had spent last summer in communications with Rohan about the very expensive fleece-lined ‘Winter Roamers’ and the broken leg pocket zips on both pairs. Already replaced and broken again it was clear we were going to have to call it a day. To be more precise it was the very delicate-looking zip tag that had snapped in the washing machine, rendering the most useful pocket absolutely useless. Now these hadn’t been cheap. I’d seen them as a good investment based on ‘you get what you pay for’ in terms of quality and longevity. I have Rohan skirts that are now coming of age at eighteen after all. Summer after summer I heave a sigh that they still fit, having worn and washed them endlessly and having no trouble with the exact same zip tags. The joke was that my Walking Friend had bought a pair of walking trousers in Lidl for £9 and the zips on those were fine.
Eventually Rohan and I came to a satisfactory arrangement and I got a full refund on two pairs of trousers, plus, after a bit of persuasion, a £30 gift voucher for having to part with my beloved trousers in which I had climbed ‘mountains’ in New Zealand.
And yes, I am in the picture twice, Clever eh, but I deserved to be after climbing the Bealey Spur track for that view.
As is the way of these things the money disappeared into central funds and now I haven’t got any winter trousers for walking out on Dartmoor, or wearing on very cold days, so Bookhound and I went to Plymouth in search of a pair.
’I am not buying Peter Storm,’ I warned him as he steered me towards Millets.
For those who might not know, Peter Storm is a brand at the budget end of the outdoor clothing market. Perfectly adequate but absolutely not for me. I’d look at Rab, Craghoppers (maybe though they are an odd fit on me), Berghaus...all very acceptable. We did Cotswold Outdoor and found zilch and so Bookhound redoubled his efforts regarding Millets.
’I am NOT buying cheap and cheerful Peter Storm,’ I muttered as I skulked my way down to the shop.
Maybe you can see where this is headed...
The racks in Millets were laden with all sorts of fleece-lined trousers.
I started with the Brashers and had the same problem as the Craghoppers. Some too low on the hips, others too high on the waist; some skin tight, some way too baggy in the leg; mostly sludge-coloured which depresses me no end. Eventually Bookhound (bravely I have to say given my mood) handed me a pair of black Peter Storm Soft Shell Fleece Lined Trousers...sound dreadful don’t they.
You’d imagine something tracksuity and...well just awful.
’Alright,’ I sighed, ‘I’ll try them on, but for £26 (Rohan were £90) they can’t be any good.’
After a session of pulling and heaving on all manner of unsuitables (I’m a UK 14 it shouldn’t be that difficult) I wasn’t hopeful. Except they slipped on easily, zipped up nicely, sat perfectly on my waist, not too baggy, not too tight. In fact they were a really nice shape, warm, comfortable, the only drawback being the words Peter Storm embroidered on the leg. No way could I pass these off as anything more exclusive.
’I’ll have two pairs,’ I said, swallowing my pride and bedecked with hubris, as I emerged from the cubicle to the shocked faces of Bookhound and the shop assistant who had obviously picked up my mood. Here’s the thing though, these shops now only stock a single pair of anything and are restocked one-for-one so I had to make do with a single pair.
‘Probably sensible,’ I said on the way home, ‘there must be something wrong with them, probably not breathable, I’ll overheat and need an ambulance.’
Anyway all I need to do is give them a new name, so how I love my beautiful Meps Rotter (Anagram of Peter Storm obvs and we’ve decided exclusive Finnish outdoor wear) and what a lesson it all was.
Do you have this problem with trousers...
Am I the only label snob in the world...
Meanwhile, have you tried to buy a pair of jeans in M&S lately...you'll need a degree and a bucket-load of patience. If it's any help, after wading through about thirty racks I found ankle grazers in a nice, not too tight style which I just bought in Long so they grazed my foot instead.
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